Take a Bow
by Raven2609
Summary: What happens when the same woman walks into the same situation a second time? Babe HEA


**A/N: **Just a short oneshot.

Disc.: Not mine. All belongs to J.E. and Rhianna

**Take a Bow**

Life is a funny thing. Always when you think you´ve seen it all, something comes around the corner that puts everything previous to a shame.

Sometimes a situation is so ridiculous there is only one thing a woman can do….Sing!

_How 'bout a round of applause? _

_Standing ovation?_

_Ohhhh _

_yeah yeah yeah yeah mhh_

Yep that definitely got their attention. After all I´m standing here for at least five minutes.

_You look so dumb right now _

_Lying on my table right now*_

_Trying to apologize _

_You're so ugly when you cry _

_Please, _

_Just cut it out_

I ask you, how high is the possibility that the same woman walks into the same situation twice? Not highly you might say and I would readily agree except if your name is Stephanie Plum. And as fate will have it, my name IS Stephanie Plum.

_Don't tell me you're sorry cause you're not _

_Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught _

_But you put on quite a show _

_Really had me going _

_But now it's time to go _

_Curtain's finally closing _

_That was quite a show _

_Very entertaining _

_But it's over now (but it´s over now) _

_Go on and take a bow_

Let me enlighten you what my little a capella performance brought on. I came home from a completely Fubar´d distraction job for RangeMan. Skip recognized me as soon as I entered the shabby bar, bolted, caught Ram by surprise and ran him over and stabbed Lester in the arm before Tank and Ranger could subdue him. While Ranger and Tank took the skip to the cop shop, I took Ram and Lester back to Haywood into the capable hands of Bobby, the RangeMan medic. Luckily Lester only needed a few stiches; and Ram an icepack for his head and a few beers for his wounded pride. All in all, the whole ordeal took just an hour and I was back at home.

Imagine my surprise when I found my, now permanently off again, boyfriend Joe Morelli banging Joyce Barnhard on MY dining room table in MY fucking apartment.

_Grab your clothes and get gone _

_You better hurry up _

_Before the sprinklers come on _

_Talkin' 'bout, girl, I love you, you're the one _

_This just looks like the re-run _

_Please, what else is on_

Finally the blood found his way back to Joe's brain and he leaped away from the skank.

"Cup…" he started but I raised my hand and kept singing.

The nerve of that man! Banging the town-slut is one thing, but on my table, in my apartment and then thinking I would listen to his pitiful excuses?

Oh, please…

What the hell would he tell me anyway? That he just happened to stumble over her in my apartment while waiting for me? And his poor dick just happened to accidently land in her diseased ridden cunt?

Yeah, right…

_And don't tell me you're sorry cause you're not _

_Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught _

_But you put on quite a show _

_Really had me going _

_But now it's time to go _

_Curtain's finally closing _

_That was quite a show _

_Very entertaining _

_But it's over now _

_Go on and take a bow_

I just increased the volume.

_Ohhhhhhh _

_And the award for the best liar goes to you _

_For making me believe _

_That you could be _

_Faithful to me _

_Let's hear your speech out _

Finally getting the hint they both get dressed.

_How ´bout a round of applause? ( laugh) _

_Standing ovation?_

And left.

_But you put on quite a show _

_Really had me going _

_But now it's time to go _

_Curtain's finally closing _

_That was quite a show _

_Very entertaining, eyyyyeahhh _

_But it's over now _

_Go on and take a bow_

_But it's over now..._

I grabbed the damned table and dragged it out of my apartment. As I looked around I thought a redecoration was long over-due or better yet, a change of location. I mean it´s not as if this shabby flat is the penthouse at the Trump Tower.

While I was standing in my living room and weighing the pros and cons of redecorating vs. moving, Ranger appeared.

"Didn´t know you were such a good singer, Babe."

_´PFF, right. Wait, ´_ I turned sharply. _`What? How? ` _

His ESP must have kicked in, ´cause he said,

"You are still wired, Babe."

Oh! I reached under my tank top and sure enough under my left breast was the tiny mic.

"OH! So, all RangeMan heard?" I asked while ripping the mic off and throwing it to Ranger.

"Yeah. And Hector recorded it, too!" he caught it with ease.

FUCK. This is so embarrassing. Not only did the Merry Man heard my pitiful attempt at singing, now they know that another man in my life screwed Barnhardt on my dinner table.

And have it recorded is just the cherry on top.

_`Ah well, suck it up Plum.`_ I said to myself, _`When life gives you lemons make lemonade. And it isn´t like Morelli was the love of your life. ` _

"Too bad I wasn´t wired for visual, too. You really should invest in some of those mini-cameras; you never know when you stumble across blackmail material."

Ranger smiled all 1000-watts. "Only you, Babe."

Ranger stalked to me, grabbed me around my waist and pulled me flush against his hard body.

He looked deep into my eyes and asked softly.

"Where do you want to go from here, Babe?"

And I whispered the only possible answer.

"The Batcave."

~~~~~oooo~~~~~

*original line: Standing outside my house


End file.
